A Tormented Soul
by Alatariel07
Summary: Harry serving a detention given to him by Snape, finds and empty classroom and an old piece of paper. Harry lets his curiosity get the better of him reads the paper and finds out a little more then he would like to know about his Professore's old life.


A/N: Hey this is my second Harry Potter fic and I hope you like it. Don't forget to review because I love feedback. The characters are not my own they belong to J K Rowling. I hope you enjoy my fanfic!!! R&R.  
  
A Tormented Soul  
  
Harry was on his way down to the dungeons to serve one of the many detentions that his 'favorite' teacher loved to give to him. As he reached Professor Snape's office, all he could think of is what Snape would make him do this time. Harry knocked on the door lightly not wanting to be there. When no one answered his nock he knocked louder this time. Again there was no answer. Harry cautiously pushed the door open and stepped into the dim lit room. He stood in the door way for a second looking around for Professor Snape. Harry realizing Snape wasn't present, walked up to his desk and looked to see if there was a note that might mention where he might be. As Harry was rummaging through the papers on the desk, he noticed that there was a paper wedged in the corner of an open drawer.  
  
Harry, letting his curiosity get the better of him; he sat down at the desk and forced the piece of paper from its hiding spot. It was an n old piece of paper that looked like it was ripped out of a small book. There was writing on it but it was hard to read, not only because of the owners hand writing but also because of the age. As Harry tired to read the chicken scratch, he found at the top of the page there was a date that he could make out. This paper dated back to March 4, 1993. Harry then tried to read the contents and after a few tries, figured out what the paper was. It seemed to be part of a diary or a journal, of his most hated teacher, Snape.  
  
Things happen that I don't understand. Things that I wish I could change. I wonder 'why me?' sometimes but I never receive an answer. I always think about what would be different if I did this instead. If I made better choices, things wouldn't go wrong. But then sometimes the wrong that I created tries to mend. I always want to change the past but I know it's impossible. I try to look at the future but all I see is disaster. Some would say I'm pessimistic, but I think they are wrong. I think like this from experience. I never had a hand of a friend to help pull me from the dark times. I never had a smile to look forward to. Now, I'm use to the darkness. It consumes me, it runs through my veins. I now see that I AM the darkness.  
  
When I was younger, I didn't was to be like this, I tried to look for the good in things, and in people. The more I looked for it, the more I couldn't find it. I was ridiculed, tormented, and put down by others just because I was different. Just because I didn't act like them or liked what they liked. My mother would tell me to not let the other children get to me. She always said 'normal' is boring. But what I would have given to be 'normal'. What I would have done just to have one friend. The more I tired to fit in, the more they teased me. So I gave up. Then I tied to ignore them, but that didn't work either. They kept tormenting, only now ten times worse so I couldn't ignore them. I thought about suicide many times, but I was always too scared. I always thought better days will come. Days came and days went, but it never got any better. Then one day I was given hope. Someone stood up for me. I thought someone might actually care about me. But that hope quickly faded as the same old hideous routine came back once again.  
  
I fell into a whole and couldn't find my way out. Only this time the whole was different. The whole gradually kept getting bigger and deeper. And my grudge became larger, until the point came to where I didn't hate people, I hated myself. Nothing could clear the darkness now. I don't know exactly when I decided, but something about it seemed right at the time. I could finally have my revenge. At night I always thought 'tomorrow they will pay for everything they had done to me, they WILL be sorry'. But when that day came, revenge wasn't sweet. It just tormented me even more, so much that at night I tried to cry the pain away. I realize now that I AM a tormented soul. I was born to be one, and I can't change it, nothing can.  
  
As Harry finally finished reading the paper all he could think about is 'why'. Why was Snape like this? Was it because of his father and godfather? Were his parents the reason that Snape was a death eater? Harry didn't want to believe that was why. He shoved the piece of paper back into its hiding spot and ran to the door. When he opened the door he found Professor Snape staring down at him.  
  
"And why is Potter in my office this late at night?" Snape asked in his sinister voice. "You gave me detention today during class and I came to serve it." Harry said looking in the dark eyes of his teacher. He's changed, hasn't he? Dumbledore wouldn't let him work here if he hasn't. I wonder if all that was true. Harry thought as his teacher still stared down at him not satisfied at the answer he gave.  
  
"That's tomorrow night Potter. Can't you even pay enough attention to when you serve your detention?!?! Five points from Gryffindor! Now get back to your room!" Snape yelled at Harry as Harry ran back to the common room, where Ron and Hermione were waiting up for him. Harry sat down at one of the over stuffed chairs next to the fire and told Ron and Hermione what he discovered in Snape's office.  
  
A/N: hey I hope you liked it. This will most likely be a one shot. I wrote it late at night so I really don't know how good it is. Please review and tell me what you think. Oh and I guessed on the date so please don't hold me to it. 


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